Do you feel like no matter what you do, you just can’t land a man of quality? No one has love totally figured out yet, but it’s clear that there are some behaviors that ruin your chances of finding the one. From lowering your standards to not prioritizing love, here are nine mistakes single women make that can get in the way of happily ever after.
Not being willing to budge
Even if you’re a great catch, the inability to budge on your “ideal qualities in a partner” list might jeopardize your chance of finding a good man. You don’t have to give up on the traits that are really important to you, like finding someone who’s trustworthy, for example. But if you don’t budge at all on anything, you narrow down your choices. If you say you’ll only date men who are doctors or lawyers, you’re cutting yourself off to a sea of amazing prospects because they don’t fit your rigid criteria.
Forgetting their standards altogether
Be willing to compromise, but don’t forget your standards altogether. If there are things that you won’t settle for, good! Having high standards means you won’t end up settling for less than you deserve. You might be able to find a man more easily if you give up on your standards, but he probably won’t be a man of quality. To differentiate between what you should and shouldn’t compromise on, work out what’s important to you. What is actually non-negotiable, and what doesn’t matter? Are there any areas where you’re being too picky or unrealistic?
Not knowing their worth
When you don’t know your worth, you’re more likely to attract the wrong type of person. If you don’t love or value yourself, you’ll be less inclined to treat yourself with respect, which in turn demonstrates to the world that you don’t need to be treated with respect. You might struggle to find anyone at all if you don’t know your worth because you’ll be less likely to put yourself out there. The truth is you are lovable and deserving of love. Always have been and always will be!
Not making finding love a priority
Some say that love comes down to luck. Others believe that fate has something to do with it. Whatever you believe, there’s no denying that your best chance of finding someone amazing is taking action. In other words, you can’t just wait for Cupid to deliver him to your door. You actually have to do stuff! If finding someone is one of your priorities, then make it one of your priorities. Get on dating apps. Attend parties and talk to people. If you have standards you expect to be met, meet those standards for yourself first. Be the type of partner you want to attract.
Letting anxiety get in the way
Anxiety can cause a major hurdle when you’re looking for love. If it gets bad enough, it can stop you from going on dates. It can stop you from getting on that app, going to that bar, or talking to that guy who’s eyeing you at the party. If you’re really struggling with anxiety, it might be a good idea to look into some management techniques to help you deal with it in a healthy way and continue your pursuit of love. You might also find that talking to a therapist about ways to cope with anxiety is very helpful!
Not knowing what they want and don’t want
It’s hard to find a good man if you don’t know how to recognize one. This is tricky because what constitutes a catch is different for everyone. Some people might like a guy who has the freedom to travel. Others might prioritize a guy with a stable job. The only way to know what a good man will look like for you is to date around. Kiss a few frogs and find out what you like! Otherwise, he might come into your life and you won’t even realize.
Ignoring the lessons they’ve learned
Dating can be a crappy experience, but at least it teaches us lessons about love. One of the best ways to ruin your chances of finding a quality partner is to reject those lessons you’ve learned. If you ignore the lessons, you’ll keep repeating the same mistakes. You’ll give the guy who’s emotionally unavailable a chance. You’ll let your anxiety make you paranoid and controlling. And in doing so, you’ll chase away or be unavailable to the guy who’s actually good for you.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you have to get out there with your boat if you want to catch them. When it comes to love, you have to take opportunities when they come up. For example, if you notice a guy staring at you, engage with him. If you get invited somewhere you know a potential love interest is going to be, go. Take every opportunity that comes your way.
Not making room in your life for a good man
If a good man is going to come into your life, you have to actually make room for him. It’s going to be difficult for you to find someone if you work from home six days a week and spend your free day watching Netflix. This can be really hard when you’ve got a lot going on with work and everything else. But try and clear space in your schedule for the guy you want. That way, there will be space for him when he comes.
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