Dating would be so much easier if guys were just upfront about their intentions from the get-go. Sadly, people can be deceiving and you might think you’ve met a great guy when he’s just using you to get over a painful breakup. Here are some signs that you’re just his rebound and will never actually be his girlfriend. The sooner you know, the less time you’ll waste on him.
His date proposal seems to come out of nowhere.
Most of the time, a guy will ask you out after talking to you a little and getting to know your personality to an extent. Sure, the physical attraction might be what draws him to you initially, but after that first approach comes introductions and conversation and from there the two of you decide if there’s any potential for a real relationship. If it seems like you’ve barely gotten two words out and the guy is already proposing that you meet for dinner or drinks one night, it could be a sign that he’s looking for a rebound to help him forget about his ex.
He quickly jumped into dating you after a really long relationship.
Some people are ready to move on from serious relationships pretty quickly after breakups and it doesn’t always mean they’re looking for a rebound. However, if the guy you just started seeing has recently left a very long-term relationship, be aware that he could simply be searching for a way to forget and heal from the loss of his last partner. This isn’t always a bad thing if you’re not looking for anything serious or long-term yourself, but just make sure you’re protecting your heart and feelings.
He constantly talks about his ex.
Another sign you could be a rebound could be if he talks incessantly about one or more of his previous girlfriends. It might be unintentional or just second nature but the fact that he’s even comfortable talking about past relationships on a first date or when he first meets you could mean that he’s not really interested in getting to know you personally. Instead, he’s just trying to move on from the past he still hasn’t let go of.
He won’t cut his ex out of his life.
Similar to always talking about her, if your new guy can’t seem to eliminate the presence of his ex from his life, it’s a clear sign he’s just not ready to move on. If he still seems to always be stalking her social media, asking other people about her, or even attempting to keep her in his life as a friend or acquaintance, it’s just not the time for him to be dating anyone else. After all, you’re looking for a real relationship and you don’t deserve to become a casualty in his post-breakup madness.
He drags his feet on defining your relationship.
If you’ve been seeing each other for a while and things seem to be going but well but he’s been avoiding defining your relationship or just doesn’t seem interested in moving things to the next level, it could mean that he never intended on doing that with you in the first place. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t have feelings for you, however, he can’t move on with you until he completely gets over his ex. If he continues to view you as a rebound, he’ll never be able to do that.
He keeps you a secret from his family and friends.
If he doesn’t want to introduce you to the people in his life, it’s never a good sign. If he’s just using you as a rebound or a way to forget about the pain from his last breakup, he’s probably not planning on having you in his life very long, so why would he want to introduce you to the constants in his life? If he doesn’t tell his friends about you or doesn’t even want you hanging out with them, not only is that not a good sign, it’s completely not okay. You deserve to be properly introduced to everyone in his life that’s important for him even if neither of you is sure where your relationship is going. Don’t settle for anything less.
He keeps up an emotional wall.
Typically when guys are looking for rebounds, they’re looking for someone who can be a source of fun and relief from the pain of a breakup and they’re not looking for someone to become emotionally close with. If it seems like every time you want to have a deep conversation he pulls away or shuts you out, it could be a sign that he’s trying to keep you as a rebound and nothing more. When we let ourselves become emotionally vulnerable with another person, it can cause things to become more serious. If he’s intentionally keeping you out, it might be time to move on.
He doesn’t seem interested in the future.
If a guy is only using you as a rebound, for the time being, it’s likely that he isn’t interested in learning about your plans for your future and how they mesh with his. I mean, if your relationship is going to be short-lived, why would it matter? If he doesn’t seem to care about the things you want for your life years down the line or when you tell him, he doesn’t even suggest or question how he could fit into all of it, it might be time for you to move on to someone who values you enough to see a future with you. If that’s what you want, that’s what you deserve.
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